How to Start End-of-Life Conversations with Your Loved Ones

• Think through your own end-of-life wishes. Set an example by writing your own living will.
• Say “I need your help with this so I can do what you want” and “You may not need to talk, but I need to.”
• Be a patient listener. Open communication is key.
• Focus on what matters to the individual.
• Planning may take place gradually - look for a little progress at a time.
• Remember, it’s better to talk about end-of-life issues in the living room rather than the ER.
• Ask your loved one to describe what type of funeral they would like.
• Reexamine you wishes whenever one of the “5D’s” occur:
  1. new Decade
  2. Death of a loved one
  3. Divorce
  4. new Diagnosis
  5. significant Decline in condition

• There are resources at libraries and on the web which can help you guide the conversation.
• Once wishes are clear, put Power of Attorney, Health Care Agent and Living Will paperwork into place. This may require the assistance of an eldercare attorney.

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